Christmas is upon us, once again. As the family dog, you need to make sure you share fully in the joy of the season. Here are some tips:

Clean up your act: Try to be the “good” dog for a change. Remember last week when you dragged a box of crackers onto your humans’ bed and kind of made a mess? Do you chew a shoe now and then for comfort, torture the cat, beg at the table, drink from the toilet? All that has to go—at least for the holidays—if you expect any more than a scoop of kibble in your Christmas stocking.

Drop subtle reminders: That piece of a rawhide chew left over from summer? Drop it in your alpha human’s lap. Leave that ragged old fuzzy puppy you love to carry around on her favorite chair.

Use guilt: If your humans bring a tree inside and cover it with bright shiny objects, chances are they will start covering the floor below it with lots of boxes. When your human is in the room lay down with your head on one of those boxes and look up at her with sad, longing eyes. Look over at that funky chew, then at the boxes, then at her. You’ve got her.

Party etiquette: If you are lucky, your humans will have a bunch of their friends over for a party. Keep your eyes open and your nose clear. Be patient, wait until they’ve had what they call their “Christmas Cheer” and make your move. Remember: anything within your reach is legally yours.

Thought for the month: Never mark a glowing Christmas tree.

Chow!

Baxter